Bridesmaids: Half Movie Review, Half Essay, Or Something

I saw Bridesmaids this weekend, and it was funny as balls. The 'review' segment of this post isn't going to get much more complex than that (I guess I should rename it 1/8th Movie Review, 7/8ths Essay??). It was an all around great film, I didn't want it to end, and it actually had a lot of heart. I'd recommend Bridesmaids to anyone because it's FUNNY. And GOOD. That's all. Which leads me to my 'essay' portion.

The conversations that have started because of this film's release are equal parts important and annoying. Yes, I can't think of a legitimately hilarious film that's starred a predominantly female cast before Bridesmaids (and don't say Sex in the City, because I'll deck you). That's a big deal. Literally every female-driven 'comedy' film before Bridesmaids hasn't really been funny, or at least in a way that appeals to both sexes. But then some hilarious women got together, wrote a hilarious film, and now we're having this discussion. As though women haven't been funny before now. And really, can you blame people for thinking that? For the past decade or so, womens' roles in comedies have been reduced to whining about relationships or...boobs. No, literally. Watch Hot Tub Time Machine. Actually, don't. Please don't.

Because Bridesmaids is the first of it's kind, there's this pressure on the viewer. For example: "Did you like it? If you said yes, was it because it's funny, or because you don't want to look like a sexist??" Now we have people thinking that the high rating on Rotten Tomatoes and the good reviews are because "people don't want to look sexist". This is something The Hangover Part II or the inevitable Hot Tub Time Machine 2 will never have to worry about, and I don't think that's fair. Trust me, if I didn't think Bridesmaids was funny, I wouldn't say it was for the sake of supporting female comedy. And no one would doubt The Hangover's high Rotten Tomatoes rating because of something like that. The Hangover has a high review because it's funny. But, on the other hand, Bridesmaids has a high review either because it's actually funny or because, you know...those women have to defend each other...

--EYE ROLL--

It's bullcrap, but I guess I understand it. What worse than that, though, is the blatant hate you can easily find on any Youtube clip of the movie. Before the film was even out- when all we had was the trailer- people (men) were polluting Youtube, giving it millions of thumbs down and saying awful things, a la "this movie is a rip off of the hangover by girls" (?? totally different plots??) or "ughhh i feel bad for whoever's girlfriend drags them to this". I'll admit, the trailer wasn't the best, but it didn't warrant that kind of backlash. But again, I understand it. A lot of men either a) feel intimidated by funny women or b) don't think they exist because they've grown up on Hot Tub Time Machine. Which...is sad.

I really don't want this to turn into a feminist rant, so I'll stop here. I'm just confused as to why we can't call a funny movie funny without being suspected of ulterior motives. For men who honestly believe the hype for Bridesmaids is a manufactured side effect of political correctness, I'd advise you to watch the movie. I was surrounded by guys at the theater who were cackling the whole time.

Anyway, I give Bridesmaids 5/5. Loved the whole thing.

And finally: The Top 10 Films of 2010

No setup necessary- let's just do this thing.

10. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Although you won't see this film discussed in any Oscar circles, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World definitely deserves some recognition. It's rare to find a film that is so eclectic and, at the same time, not a bit smug about its electiveness. SPVTW didn't have to market to the "indie" crowd to be successful- it just had to be itself. Which is, at its core, just a brilliant, fun movie. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is not just for comic book nerds, video game shut-ins, or hipsters who recognize the Frank Black song in the soundtrack or Scott's reoccurring Smashing Pumpkins shirt...it's for everybody.


9. Winter's Bone

I didn't realize how intense this movie was until after it was finished. Everything starts out so calmly paced, and then, before you know it, people are getting coffee thrown in their faces. Sundance's Best Picture winner sneaks up on you in a way that is truly admirable, and it has pretty much scared me away from the rural Missouri area for life. If the plot doesn't capture your interest (daughter chasing her deadbeat, meth-cooking dad), at least check this one out for newcomer Jennifer Lawrence's Golden Globe-nominated performance for Best Actress. Although Natalie Portman will most likely take the title for her work in Black Swan, Lawrence is definitely one you want to keep your eye on.


8. Inception

While I remain a firm believer that this film is extremely overhyped, I can't honestly look myself in the face and say that it wasn't one of the best films of the year. Even though I had my issues with the convoluted plot and bloated love story (seriously, way too much time devoted to that), Inception is clearly a Christopher Nolan production. What do I mean by that? It was sleek, ambitious, original, and ingenious, just like everything Nolan has ever done.
I don't believe that Inception will win Best Picture or any acting awards, but Nolan has a very good chance at winning the Best Director and/or Best Screenplay awards.


7. How to Train Your Dragon

Who knew that an animated movie about a dragon could make me cry? TWICE? I was dragged to the theater for this one, and I have to say that I left it completely awed by how surprisingly good this film was. It may appear to be a children's movie about a cute dragon, but HTTYD is so much more. It's a movie about self-confidence, father/son relationships, friendship, and love. And if you're not at all moved by it, I question the existence of your heart.


6. The King's Speech


The King's Speech is painful in the way that, from the very beginning, it puts you right in front of the problem. Before I saw this film, I wondered how a movie about a speech impediment could really be that good. But man. The opening scene is brutal. Sure, having a stutter sucks, but having a stutter and being forced to speak publicly on a regular basis? At a time in history before most people had the sensitivity to forgive you for it? Yeesh. The reason this film works is because we feel the gravity that this stammer has on King George VI (Colin Firth). We can see how much it has, basically, ruined his life. And it makes you want to root for him.
The King's Speech will be a big contender for Best Picture, and I'm pretty much calling Colin Firth's win for Best Actor. Geoffrey Rush will be nominated for Best Supporting Actor, but I don't think he'll get it (only because one other nominee slightly out shined him, which...I'll get to later).


5. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt. 1

Just when I'd written off the Harry Potter movies as complete and utter crap, the second-to-last one came out and basically blew me away. After several years of progressively bad releases, the Harry Potter franchise closes the last stretch and suddenly decides that it wants to be good again. Actually, even better than it's ever been. It's the only one on the list that I wrote a full review of, and you can read it here: http://bit.ly/91fOB6


4. True Grit

Finally, the Coens reign themselves in and deliver a full, dense, and brilliantly executed story. No weirdness for the sake of weirdness, no loose ends for the sake of loose ends- True Grit is a rare Coen film in the fact that they didn't write it and, therefore, it doesn't seem distinctly Coen. And, the way that I personally look at Coen films, that's a good thing. Having seen the original, I have to say that this version is much better, and that Bridges plays a much more grizzled and complex Rooster Cogburn. Fans of John Wayne might find that sacrilege, but hey, what can you do. Matt Damon and 14-year-old Hailee Steinfeld (Maddie) are pretty outstanding, too, and if any of them receive acting nominations they'd be well-deserved. The Coens may be nominated for Best Director, but, as good as True Grit was, I think that award belongs to Fincher or Nolan.


3. The Social Network

Before I saw this film, I was bewildered by all of the buzz. Seriously, how could a movie about Facebook be that good? I'll tell you how. With a talented cast, an amazing director, and a screenplay that's whip smart and expertly paced. This film isn't a history lesson about Facebook. It's a character study of Mark Zuckerberg, brought brilliantly to life by Jesse Eisenburg. We see how ingenious he is and how, in a way, his intelligence directly combats with his social life. Mark is too cerebral to sit and have a friendly chat with a girl he likes; his smart mouth and quick tongue will get him into trouble regardless of his intentions. Another aspect I really loved about this film is its entrepreneur, capitalistic-friendly message. If you're smart enough and you have the ambition, you can do anything you want. I'm not sure if The Social Network will win any major awards, but I'm telling you right now it will be nominated for everything.


2. Toy Story 3

The other film on this list that made me cry. THRICE this time. I don't know what it is, but those animated movies really get me. Much like Pixar's entry last year (Up), Toy Story 3 had me emotionally unstable throughout the entire thing. You feel the sadness at Andy's growth and disinterest in his toys, you feel the defeat in the middle (not going to get into the details), and, lastly, you feel hopeful about where these characters are going in the end. Again, I don't want to give away too much, but there is one scene in this movie that KILLED me. Let's just say that they're all holding hands. If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. Pretty heavy for a 'kids movie'.
As good as How to Train Your Dragon was, Toy Story 3 is pretty much a shoe-in for Best Animated Feature.


1. The Fighter

The Fighter took my top spot for a number of reasons. First of all, I was completely blown away by Christian Bale's performance as Dickie Ekland, Mark Wahlberg's crack-addicted, fading star of a brother. Christian Bale may be credited as a 'supporting actor' in this, but to me, he stole the show. That's not to say that this movie is only good because of the acting, though. The Fighter is inspiring and uplifting without being cheesy or obvious about its message. Unlike similar, based-on-true-story success films, The Fighter isn't about making the audience feel good or empowered. It is about Mickey (Mark Wahlberg) and Dickie's story as two brothers fighting for two different things- success and sobriety. And neither one can succeed without the other.
While I hope this film takes the title of Best Picture, I'm not sure if it'll win. What it WILL win is the Best Supporting Actor award for Christian Bale. I'm calling it now, and if that award goes to anyone else, I will honestly be very upset. Melissa Leo will win the Best Supporting Actress award, too, I think, as Mickey and Dickie's tough-faced but fragile mother Alice.

MOVIES YOU EXPECTED TO SEE ON THIS LIST BUT DIDN'T:
-The Town. I felt very meh about The Town, mostly because it felt like so many things I've already seen before. The only thing noteworthy to me about this film was Jeremy Renner, who will most likely receive an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor.
-Black Swan. I mentioned earlier that I think Natalie Portman will win the award for Best Actress, and I say that because I think she deserves it. Her acting is superb. So much of me wants to trash Black Swan because I didn't like it, but really, it has nothing to do with the merit of the film. I just personally didn't like it. I found it much too disturbing and depressing to enjoy, but that certainly doesn't mean it wasn't good. It's an effective film, just not one that I liked.

HONORABLE MENTION:
- The Other Guys. I have a soft spot for dumb comedies, and this film starring Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg honestly made me laugh out loud a lot. Unfortunately it starts to lose steam by the last thirty or so minutes, but if you're not in a thinking mood and you just want to laugh, go with this one. And if you're not a Ferrell or Adam McKay fan, please consider enduring this for Michael Keaton, who made me cackle obnoxiously.
-The A-Team. Before you get all snooty and preachy on me for including this, tell me: what's wrong with a big, fun action movie? There's nothing brainless about this film. In fact, in terms of its genre, it's pretty smart. The cast is magnificent and, as a huge childhood fan of the TV series, I was very pleased with the outcome. Also, please put Sharlto Copley in more movies, Hollywood.

ONES I MISSED:
-127 Hours. Unfortunately I missed this one when it zipped through theaters, and I think I've got a long time to wait before it's available on DVD. Still, I feel almost certain that I will enjoy it, and I'm extremely bummed that I didn't have a chance to catch it before awards season. When I do get around to seeing it, expect a review, and, if necessary, an alteration to this list.

IN CONCLUSION, MY OSCAR PREDICTIONS:
Best Picture: either The King's Speech or The Fighter
Best Actor: Colin Firth (The King's Speech)
Best Actress: Natalie Portman (Black Swan)
Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale (The Fighter)
Best Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo (The Fighter)
Best Director: either Christopher Nolan for Inception or David Fincher for The Social Network
Best Screenplay: either Christopher Nolan for Inception or Aaron Sorkin for The Social Network
Best Animated Feature: Toy Story 3

Thoughts?

My MINOR problem with '500 Days of Summer' that has caused outrage

Okay. Let me set up this story.

So, over the weekend, I saw the movie 500 Days of Summer. And it was...okay. There were things about it that I thought were really clever, there were things about it that I thought were cute- all in all, I'd say it was a good movie. Nothing spectacular, but definitely not bad. Just an enjoyable, light, predictable romantic comedy. And there's nothing wrong with that (and actually, is it even possible for a romantic comedy not to be predictable?).

While I was watching it, though, one scene stood out to me. The scene where Tom (Joseph Gordon Levitt) is singing karaoke. Actually, all the scenes where anybody was singing karaoke, other than the drunk dude singing "I'm Proud to be an American". I'm not familiar with the song Zooey D...?'s character was singing, but Tom was singing a Pixies song. Here Comes Your Man. In a karaoke bar.

I don't think so. Tell me, have you ever encountered a karaoke bar that plays indie music? Alternative music? Don't even bother telling me the answer, because I know it's no. At a karaoke bar, you hear top hits. You hear drunken people ruining Michael Jackson songs. You know why? Because EVERYBODY knows 'Billie Jean', and EVERYBODY can be amused by some drunk chick slurring out the lyrics. What kind of uppity, smug karaoke bar would have "Here Comes Your Man" preset on their machine? Only a handful of people in the bar would be familiar with the song, and everyone else would be going, "...what is this?"

I'll tell you why Joseph Gordon Levitt's character is singing a Pixies song- because 500 Days of Summer wants to be an "indie movie". And guess what- it IS an indie movie! The soundtrack consists of alternative music, the way they tell the story is inventive and creative, and it wasn't made with a huge budget or, necessarily, A-list stars (although I would argue that JGL might be classified as A-list post-Inception). The makers of this movie thought that they couldn't have the characters singing 'Billie Jean' or 'Private Dancer' or what have you because a popular, mainstream song wouldn't be "indie enough".

To me, this scene took me out of the movie. It shows me the hand of the creators. Everything else about this film was organic, but that scene was unrealistic on purpose for the sake of appeasing smug viewers. There, I said it.

Apparently I've upset some people with this opinion and been told that I have a problem "suspending reality". Well, my favorite book series is Harry Potter and I grew up watching Star Wars, so I find that doubtful. Yes, there are fantasy scenes in the film, but they are clearly fantasy scenes. Most of the scenes in 500 Days are based in reality. Flirting at the IKEA store, sitting on a bench and looking at buildings, getting in fights with your significant other, singing karaoke at a karaoke bar. Like I said, it's an obvious play by filmmakers afraid to have anything remotely mainstream in their movie, and it bugged me.

Honestly, it wasn't even a big deal to me, but the moment I mentioned it I had rabid fans telling me I couldn't suspend reality and that I was wrong. For the record, again, I liked 500 Days of Summer. Some people love 500 Days of Summer. Either way, I should be able to critique it however I want and not be accused of misunderstanding something.

THAT IS ALL. Thoughts?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: DUDE.

I grew up as a huge fan of the Harry Potter series, so, first of all- I am probably one of the toughest people to sell the Potter movies to. Because? They've sucked. HARD. The first two movies were good, the third one was 'meh', the fourth one was 'meh', and the fifth and sixth were utter abominations of film. I mean it. Walking out after 'Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince' to me was a defining experience- that's when I finally said to myself, "Self, you better learn your lesson. Stop expecting these movies to be good. They suck now. Deal with it and try to move on."

So, needless to say, I walked into Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows with pretty shitty expectations. I figured, well, the movie's probably gonna suck (and by all means it should've- it had all of the same people working on it as the last two films), so if anything I should just focus on all the hot wizard boiz. But man, was I surprised.

There is a darkness to this film that, for the first time, fits. In OOTP and HBP, David Yates was trying to darken the mood, but...it didn't work. I don't care what's going on in or outside Hogwarts- you CAN'T make Hogwarts a dark and foreboding place. You just can't. It's a flippin' magical castle full of wonder and innocence, and I think that's a big reason why I disliked those movies. Yates went overboard on the darkness theme and, in the end, those moves just felt heartless.

Not the case with Deathly Hallows. Why? Because Hogwarts isn't in play. Hogwarts is a symbol of everything young and magical and happy in the wizarding world, and when you're not in it? Things are really, really bad. There's nothing cutting off Harry and the gang from the real world in this movie. And the real world is dark. Thus, the motif finally fits. When the gang is in Hogwarts, really, there's nothing immediate at hand. Maybe when they leave, yes, but Hogwarts is a safe haven (except for the end of HBP, but I digress). Without that safe haven, there's something around every corner. There's immediate danger facing everyone, always. The film really benefits from that.

When I first heard the news that DH was being split into 2 films, I thought to myself: Why? But, now that I've seen the results of part 1, I understand it completely and I wonder what could've been accomplished by the last two films had they been given more time. DH doesn't suffer from the same stressed-out pacing as OOTP and HBP...it has the luxury of taking its time. So much of what's going on in DH has to do with the characters- mostly our main trio- despairing. The opener of the film shows this perfectly, and by the time the title frame floats up, you feel like there actually is a weight to all this darkness. It's not overblown teen angst anymore. This shit has gotten real.

Daniel Radcliffe, for the first time, blew me away. Finally, for the last film, he's decided to be 100% there. Rupert Grint has always been capable, and in this film he gets to show it off. Now, I still have issues with Emma Watson- Hermione was never supposed to be so pretty and dull- but even I have to admit that has nothing to do with her acting. I'm just not a fan of the portrayal. Of course, we still have the legendary cast of always-dependable supporting actors: Alan Rickman, Ralph Fiennes, Jason Isaacs, Helena Bonham Carter, etc., etc. So, in the acting department, all was well. Which...I don't think that's ever happened in a Harry Potter film before. There was always some weak link in the younger actors that detracted from the experience. Not the case in this film. Well, other than Bonnie Wright as Ginny, who still sucks, but thankfully we only had to tolerate her for three minutes.

As for things to nitpick at, I think being a huge Harry Potter fan gives me a few. First of all: when Ron destroys the locket? Too much. Naked CGI groping is not a thing I wanted to see, especially when it wasn't necessary. In the book, all Ron saw was his greatest fear- Harry and Hermione together. Kissing. Not having ferocious, CGI sex. Also, some of the camping scenes between just Harry and Hermione were awkward as f*ck. I understand everyone is in despair, but damn. Awkward dancing scene was too much for me to take- if you haven't seen it, you'll know what I'm talking about. Also, near the end of the part 1, things started to feel a little rushed. After taking its time with the camping, the film seems to snap out of that section with a breakneck speed, not giving enough time to either a) the incident at Xenophillius Lovegood's house or b) Malfoy Manor. Which are two of the most bad ass, tension-filled events. Especially Malfoy Manor*. To me, that was the turning point in the book, and it seemed like they were in and out of there way too quickly.

* Also, I am obligated to say this: I am obsessed with Tom Felton, and more time at Malfoy Manor would've meant more time with Draco Malfoy, so I may be a TAD biased.

But, all in all, I found Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows to be shockingly good. Great, even. And after going into it with such low expectations, I can't tell you how fulfilling it was to walk out of there satisfied. I can't wait for part 2, and after seeing how great part 1 was, I don't know how it could be bad.

Highlights: the Tale of the Three Brothers animation, Godric's Hollow, Malfoy Manor even though it was brief, Ron's return. Ugh. Just such a good movie.

4.5/5 stars

Splice: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Do My Mom

I know this one's a little late, but I'll be honest with you. It took me awhile to process this one. There were so many things going on in 'Splice', all of which have disturbed me for life. I mean really, the fact that I made it through the whole movie without projectile vomiting on the guy in front of me is a feat, my friend.

Now, usually I don't like to get spoilery on you guys, but with this one I can't help it. So, if you're interested in seeing Splice...you probably don't want to read this. Although at this point you've already read the title, which in itself is a spoiler, so...whoops (enduring shrug!). This is one that I just can't post a cutesy little summary of. I was horrifed, thus I must express my horror.

Adrien Brody and...his girlfriend (too lazy to Google) are genius scientist who've been experimenting with mixing and SPLICING (oh, I get it!) DNA strands. I was a constant B- student in science, so I'm not going to act like I fully understood what was going on, but I don't think you necessarily have to understand the specifics. Really, they're effing with nature. That's what you need to know.

Behind their benefactors' back, they decide to splice human DNA with several different animal DNA strands. And little fleshy penis baby is born! It's a girl, and they name her Dren, which is Nerd spelled backwards (guffaw guffaw guffaw). She can't talk and expresses herself in creepy shrieks. Brody wants to kill it because it's a hassle to hide the thing, and his girlfriend (unnamed lady actor) is going all psycho possessive mother on it, but...it lives. And it's aging, rapidly.

Eventually, it gets to teenager mode (at this point in the film they've moved Dren out to an abandoned, creepy farmhouse). I guess it's important to point out that Dren looks about 70% human- the only difference is she has velociraptor arms and legs and has retractable flesh wings.

And here's where it gets really...really...effed up, bro. The woman finds little doodles of Adrien Brody's face in Dren's "room" and asks, "You didn' draw any of me?"

And that's when I realized what I was in for and proceeding to shrink down into my seat. Yes. Dren's in love with Adrien Brody. At some point, Dren attacks the woman, and she has to amputate Dren's stinger tail to keep herself safe. Brody walks in on naked, fresh-from-amputation Dren, and...cue the Marvin Gaye.

Yes. Sex. The woman walks in, of course, because this is a movie, and when somebody bangs their mutant daughter, people are gonna find out! She and Brody eventually have a long talk and decide they have to kill Dren. She's out of control! So they drive to the farmhouse and discover...gasp...Dead Dren.

They bury Dren. Not-important secondary character and Brody's brother suddenly drive up. Brody's bro spilled the beans! Not-important secondary character expresses outrage. "I want to see it!" "It's too late, she's dead." Then, mysterious rattling of bushes. Then, SWOOP-ACTION!

Not-important secondary character is dead in the trees. Then Brody's brother is dead, I think in the trees again. Brody and Dren's momma run away, and to make a short story short, here we go: Dren has mutated into A MAN. A MAN I TELL YOU. It's face is scary and manly, it's boobies are gone, and yes, my friends. Dren is a man. Male Dren kills Adrien Brody and rapes its mom with it's stinger dick.

Dis. Gust. Ing.

Then she manages to kill Dren with a rock, post-rape. Final scene of the movie: there's a long, stupid conversation between one of the lady's benefactors and the woman. Then, the woman stands up and...she's pregnant!

Bum bum bum. The end.

Now do you understand? I should get some kind of award for holding my dinner in. At first I was so horrified by 'Splice' that I couldn't give it a fair review, but I think I can now. And honestly, it wasn't a poorly made film. Just because something grosses me out doesn't mean it's bad. The actors are capable, the direction is good (check out director Vincenzo Natali's previous film 'Cube'; it's much better IMO), and, although the story is absolutely filthy, at least it's original.

3/5 stars.

PS: Alright, that was a little unfair. The chick's name is Sarah Polley.

Here's a Lesson: Don't Hang Out With Pervs, Stupid.

To make things clear, I didn't hate this movie. The title makes it seems like I did, but I really didn't. In all actuality, it was pretty average. Girl has a promising future, girl meets older guy, and...stuff happens (tryin' not to get too spoilery on you guys!). 'An Education' was nominated for Best Picture, and I have to say that I really think the only reason that happened is because of the performances and the way the movie looked, because really, there's nothing spectacular about the story.

So, this chick (Carrie Mulligan) is supposed to be a genius. She's 16 years old, she's at the top of her class, and she talks like she's 40 years old. Along comes moderately handsome older man, Peter Saarsgard. Apparently, Genius doesn't know that a) you shouldn't talk to strangers, and b) any guy interested in a 16 year old who's older than 16's gotta be pretty messed up. I'll let her get away with it I guess because it was the 60's, a.k.a., BMGTCD (Before McGruff the Crime Dog). So how could she have known?

The basic idea is that although Jenny is super smart and can randomly speak French in the middle of a conversation, she has no education when it comes to the real world. It's a premise that's been done before...actually, it's been done a million times before, but the performances make it feel new. Carrie Mulligan is great, Sarsgaard plays his part well, and man, you gotta love Alfred Molina in anything he's in (and yes, my dad did walk by the screen at some point and yell, "Hey, it's Doc Oc!"). I liked the other focus of the movie, too, in which Jenny mused the importance of college (which I have mused myself, my friends).

Really, 'An Education' is good. The only thing I really have a problem with, along with a lot of other viewers, is the need to express, over and over, that Sarsgaard's character (David) is Jewish. He's a Jew! It's irrelevant, yet it's something that's continually brought up. And David's not a good guy. He steals, along with the whole 'dating 16 year olds' thing. And Emma Thompson even gets a whole monologue about why Jenny should stop seeing David, which, for some reason, his Jew-ness is emphasized. "You know, it was the Jews who killed our Lord." Excuse me? Why is this relevant? Of course, Jenny defends David, but the movie doesn't, and it shouldn't- he's a horrible guy. But the movie never defends Jews. It never points out that David sucked because of his character and not because he was Jewish. Which is actually pretty shocking.

3.5/5 stars

LOST: finale review & longings for a spinoff

So I know initially this blog is meant for movie reviewing purposes, but come on. The greatest show of my lifetime is officially over, and I need an outlet. I'll be honest- whenever I stumble across a blog, I scan to see how long it is, so for similar purposes I'll try not to make this novel-length because, well...people will give up on the first paragraph, much like I would! Which would be somewhere around riiiiiight...now. BUT, I'll try to keep it short and sweet! And by 'short' I mean shorter than Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

So Lost is over. And it cuts like a knife! But it was a great ride, and it came to a pretty satisfying end, at least for me. I'm even willing to bet that those last 2 and a half hours were the greatest hours of Lost (and maybe even television history). I mean, just...just so much epicness, and I don't say that lightly because I hate when people use that word all the time. Because, not that much stuff is 'epic'. This was. That mid-jump punch, the Charlie/Claire reunion (tears, people...tears), Jack and Kate's goodbye, Ben throughout the whole episode, the church, the end...all just beautiful and literally epic. Never has a show so ambitious been aired on TV, I can say that with confidence.

As for the revelation of what the sideways timeline was...I'm happy with that. And I didn't see it coming at all. I know a lot of people think the fact that it was purgatory is ridiculous, but I'm a fan of it. At first it's sad to know that everyone died, but as Christian says, "Everybody dies eventually." And each character was faced with the option of staying in purgatory or 'moving on' into what I perceive to be heaven. Ben sitting outside of the church was particularly noteworthy to me. He wasn't ready to move on. He wasn't sure if he deserved it. I'm glad the writers did this, because throughout the show, Ben was a gray character. I think by the end we ultimately knew he was good, but he'd done too many bad things to reunite with everyone else in the afterlife, at least at that point. I also talked with a friend, and maybe his reason for staying was Alex. Maybe he was waiting for her revelation so he could 'move on' with her. Everyone else in the church had someone. Maybe Ben can't leave without his daughter. JUST A THOUGHT.

Now. That being said, I have to say, I'm left wanting more. I'm not one of those people who are pissed because we didn't get enough 'answers' (although there are some I wish we did get...what about Walt? Annie? ...other stuff?). I know the writers don't have to show us what happened on the island with Hurley and Ben in charge for hundreds, maybe even thousands, of years. But I want to know! And that brings me to my next topic. Spinoff.

I know Lost ended on top, and if the spinoff I'm about to propose isn't able to be executed with equal care and beauty, than forget it. I don't want this franchise to be pummeled into the ground until it looses its greatness (see: The Office), so again, if it couldn't be amazing, than I don't want it to happen. That being said, I've got some ideas!

-Hurley and Ben, post-Jack death and Ajira departure. How long were they there? I can say that having watched for all these years, some of the scenes between Hurley and Ben were the absolute best. The hot pocket? The Apollo bar scene? Their dynamic together is great, and teaming them up would definitely work. Hurley is the new Jacob, and his new task is to 'help people' as Ben said. It would be interesting to see Hurley slowly come into his new role, and I think Lost fans would watch it. It's not just Hurley and Ben, there's still Rose and Bernard, and that whole gang of Temple people who scattered after Widmore's people bombed the beach. And, as always, new people will come to the island.

-More mythological backstory. I don't think anybody would say that they really understand everything that happened in 'Across the Sea', and there's plenty more to explain about what happened after that, and even before that. I don't think an entire show could be based on this, but it could be flashback fodder. Maybe as Hurley and Ben uncover more secrets of the island, we could get flashbacks about how these things came to be. And maybe MiB's ghost could make an appearance? After all, Hurley sees the dead.

-The Ajira 6. Much like the last one, I don't think it could stand as it's own show, but there's definitely something there. I don't think we'd want to watch Kate and Claire raise Aaron (snoozefest), but what about Richard? Maybe he feels it was a mistake to leave? What could he possibly do with his life off of the island anyway? It's not like he knows anybody. And I know he wasn't one of the Ajira 6, but Walt! I feel as though he was being set up as a possible new-Jacob and then that story line was just thrown away. Why is he special? Was he originally meant to protect the island, or at least assist in its protection?

At this point, I'd be happy with anything, be it an actual spinoff show, a movie, or even novels (or EVEN comics. Yeah, I'm that desperate). I just think that with so many possibilities and so many fans who want more, it'd be a shame to see Lost end right here. Thoughts?